Why let your story keep you a prisoner?
We become attached to our pain from the past. We do not always know how to get rid of what haunts us. We play it over and over again in our thoughts. We keep it alive and fresh by not letting it stay in the past. We tell our story to family, friends, co-workers, and anyone who will listen. Everyone is willing to listen to your story, “blah, blah, blah”. Then they regurgitate it right back to you, opening your wounds over and over again, giving you permission to hold on to what hurts.
Why do we do this?
Because this is the story: It’s your pay off to not have to own it, to not have to face the things that you know you should, ultimately giving yourself permission to stay where you are. You feel vulnerable instead of allowing yourself to let go. This permits you to hold others accountable for what pains you. When you hold on to the hurt you feel from someone’s actions, or wait for an apology, you keep the chapter open to feeling the pain, hurt, and blame. The problem is, when you hang on to negative emotions and blame others for what has been set before you, it will often lead you to feel powerless to grow in positive ways. It holds you hostage to the future you deserve. Letting go is not about the person that hurt you, but about releasing the power they hold against you. It truly does set you free. When you start letting go of past hurts, you can begin to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not place that power into the hands of another person.
The story you hold in your heart is not about grieving about what happened, but rather finding an ending that brings you peace. Create from where you’re at now. Look at the past as a lesson. Look at the obstacles that have been unbearable to overcome as stepping-stones to where you are now. Just remember, without your past you would not be who you are today. One of my favorite sayings that has gotten me through some tough times in my life has become one of my life mottoes, “When your past is your present, how will you get to the future?”
The past lives within you and has all the ingredients to become what you want it too. No one escapes the past. We manifest what our heart holds and we choose to hold onto those things that hurt us so deeply, those things then will start to soaked our roots to the point of rot. When we hold on to those negative emotions so tightly, we are not aware how they can affect our daily life. We become stuck in a negative loop. Why allow the past to define the future? It’s not healthy, adds unwanted stress, keeps you focused on the negative, and impacts everyday relationships that we have with others.
Time will reveal the truth to those who find the courage to do the things that they find difficult to overcome. Take time to reflect on your story. Read it as if in third person. Read it without judgment and take time to understand that you are not your past. Your past situations, patterns, and the people who have been part of your life have helped you write your story, but they have not created you. Understanding this creates awareness and will help you break the cycle of reliving what you cannot change. It will give you the power to write your story your way.
Accept your story, along with the people who have contributed to the chapters in your book . Accept your circumstances and remind yourself that they do not define you. Remind yourself that when you hold on to bitterness, anger, fear, hardships, or hurts, it will burden no one but yourself.
The book of your life is yours to write. Rather then re-reading the bad parts, write a new chapter. Actively work on letting go of your judgments, troubles, mistrust, material things, and all those things that hold no value. Write your story based on expectations of how you want to live your life, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Living is learning and finding the strength to embrace life changes. Trust your story as it unfolds, learn as you go, and realize that every experience, good or bad, has value. Don’t be afraid to end a chapter when needed and to start a new one. Life will never go just as planned. No one else is responsible for you. You control your life and story. Remember, if you want to change, if you want to let go and move onto a new chapter with your life, you’re the only person that can make that happen. Stop blaming others who have hurt you in the past. You are in full control of where your life is heading, as long as you make the move to claim it and own it!
Beginning today . . . don’t allow negative experiences from your past to predict your future.