Making a commitment involves dedicating yourself to something. It involves a
willingness to give time and energy to do something that you believe in. It’s a
promise or a decision you make that binds you (intellectually or emotionally) to a
course of action.
How good are you at keeping your word?
If you are like me, you don’t like to fail on a commitment you make to others. If I say
I am going to call, be somewhere, or give my time to someone or something, I am
there 100%. I want my word to mean something. That is part of living with
integrity. Unfortunately, I am not quite as good at keeping commitments to myself. I find that I take advantage of my weaknesses and talk myself out of what I am trying to finish or learn. There have been many times I have said….
“I am going to exercise more.”
“I should not eat all those sweets.”
“I am going to lose weight.”
“I am not going to quit.”
“I should not waste time on social media.”
“I am not going to spend money on unnecessary things.”
“I should get my health in order.”
“I am going to watch T.V. less.”
“I should go to bed at a decent hour.”
“I am going to start that tomorrow.”
. . . and the list goes on with ‘I am’. Then, I start to make excuses about why I don’t
have to really commit to what I really want.
“I don’t have to do this.”
“I will restart tomorrow.”
“Oh, dang I forgot.”
“It really doesn’t matter.”
“This is harder than I thought.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
“No one cares if I do this or not.”
Does any of this sound familiar? Making a commitment to your self is the easy part.
Being excited at first of the unknown results gives you that push to move ahead.
You find the motivation that helps you to make a commitment. You have this feeling, “Oh, man! This is going to be easy.” “I got it this time.” “I’m not going to be a
quitter.” Although we have great intentions and we really want to stay committed,
life circumstances often keep us from honoring them. When things start to get
complicated and you feel like you are sliding towards failure, this is when it’s easy to quit the commitment you made to yourself. It’s not because you are a quitter it’s
because something happens. Sometimes, you lose sight of your goals out of fear, being tired, or feeling overwhelmed with life. Or, you just give up because you don’t feel like you are getting results fast enough.
How much is your word worth?
Your commitments begin with the beliefs you have about yourself. If you talk
yourself out of following through with something or someone and you don’t finish
what you set out to do, this becomes your reality. When you make a commitment to yourself, you are the only one who can keep this promise and make it happen.
Keeping your word to yourself is of great value.
I have learned through my own failures, that to truly commit to myself means that I
have to face the fears, deal with the challenges, embrace diversity, accept love,
accept negativity, and confront the things or people who I have run from in the past. It’s about moving at my own pace, and that is what will keep me from running away from what I really desire. Ultimately, it ends up all coming back to my word. If I can’t honor commitments to myself, my life is likely to feel out of control and out of balance because I am not living with integrity.
If you can’t commit to yourself, who can you really commit to?
If you want to build self-respect, then you must first be accountable to YOU. Set your goals, determine your values, commit yourself to action, and then follow through.
Taking ownership of your life gives you the ability to develop a mindset where you
are in control. It sets you up for success. It’s about learning what your desires are,
and allowing your truth to flow through you and into the world.
What is holding you from living the life you’ve imagined for yourself?
I ask myself this question every time that I let go of a commitment that I made to
myself. Why am I holding back? What made me quit? I have learned that if I move
too fast I tend to get overwhelmed with the fear of not knowing enough or that I
might fail. My negative thoughts kick in. By teaching myself to be aware of this flight mode, I have established a strong connection to myself and feel confident in knowing what I truly want for myself. Remember, just because you feel hopeless,
doesn’t mean that that the task is hopeless.
Here’s a few ingredients that are necessary to fully grow into more:
1. STOP USING THE WORD “SHOULD” and “I am going to”- These words imply that we are not enough as we are. It focuses on failures, shame, regrets, and other negative emotions.
2. USE THE WORDS “I CHOOSE” – These simple words are empowering. It gives
you permission to follow through on your terms.
3. WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN – Written commitments give you clarity and
direction. By putting it in writing, you can better communicate to others, or
to yourself, the plans you have for the future. Written goals get it out of your
head and on to the paper where you can see it clearly.
4. DON’T WORRY IF YOU HAVE TO TAKE BABY STEPS – Sometimes our
thoughts move faster than our actions. It doesn’t mean overworking yourself
to where you think you need to be. If needed, break down the goal into
smaller steps. Live and work on your own terms.
5. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF – Don’t try to convince your self that it doesn’t
matter, when all along it does matter. Being honest with your self is just as
important as being honest with anyone else. Your feelings count.
6. EMBRACE YOUR MINDSET – Give yourself permission to accept that not all
things will go the way you expect. Know that it may take longer than you
want. Keep your thoughts positive. Know that you will have days that will be
difficult and you may want to quit. Remind yourself often that you are
human. Reset yourself and take a good look at your life. Take time daily to
meditate, pray, and breathe. And don’t forget to take time to care for yourself.
Get outside and feel the sun on your face. Be open and embrace whatever
comes your way.
7. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE – Then jump in! Go for the ‘all or
nothing’ attitude. Get the in the mindset that “there is no turning back now”!
Everything you do for the first time involves a degree of fear. Conquer that
fear. The more you step out the more confidence you will gain. If you do find
it difficult, then it’s okay to slow down, pause, and breathe. Just don’t quit!
8. HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE – Make sure you check in with yourself on a
weekly basis. Remember to pat yourself on the back for any accomplishment,
big or small. Reward yourself with a gift of gratitude for staying true to
yourself. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you trust what you are trying to
accomplish. Let this person be you cheerleader who will hold you
accountable to keeping your commitments.
9. EXPECT SETBACKS – But don’t invite them! Be prepared to handle setbacks
and failures as they arise. Have a plan and learn from these mistakes instead
of giving up. It’s up to you to see the finish line and beyond. Make
the decision that nothing is going to stand in your way of success
10. REMEMBER THAT FAILURE IS SUCCESS TURNED INSIDE OUT – This is my go
to saying when I feel like I have failed. Whatever we do in life is never
wasted time. Always learn. Always grow. Always strive to be the best you!
If you’ve been waiting for that perfect moment to arrive, I’ve got some news for you……
It will never come.
There will always be a new problem that gets in your way. There
will always be something you need to do before you can fully commit yourself. You
just have to get out of your own way and commit to the things you want to achieve
What are your desires and dreams? Identify those hidden and ignored
commitments that you need to make to yourself right now.